WHINE, CHEESE! & HOUSE UPDATE #5

It's 11:38pm. My son and husband are sound asleep in their warm, comfy beds. I'm sitting at the dining room table. Working. In a few minutes, I'll shut down, brush my teeth, and collapse under the sheets. Bright and early tomorrow morning, I'll be back at my desk to do it all over again. And I'll still be a month behind.

So I just keep telling myself it'll get better. Because while it seems like work is all there is, I remember there's this:

Horsie!

And this:

Peanut Butter!

And THIS:

The ICFs have arrived!

FACT CHECKER

The non-profit I've work for over the last 5 years was founded in 1986 by two amazing people. Our mission is to reduce the economic and environmental cost of energy, which makes it pretty easy to get out of bed and go to work every morning. 

Technically, 2012 marks our 26th year. And yet today, we kicked off our official 25th anniversary celebration in grand fashion. Over 260 employees, from 4 regional offices convened in Burlington to honor the company and the great work we've achieved to date. Add to that, two pretty inspiring speeches by Senator Bernie Sanders and Vermont State Governor Peter Shumlin—neither of whom are actively campaigning, meaning they came to our office because they really believe in and are proud of the work we do—and who cares if the math's a little wonky?

The after-hours pizza party had been billed Employees Only so we thought it would be inappropriate to bring Hudson. When I mentioned that to our Director, he said, "That's ridiculous." Add that to the fact that another couple (both of whom work with us) had gotten clearance to bring their kid, we decided to buck the system and bring ours too. After all, he relocated to DC for the firm. Didn't he deserve a little pizza?

After dinner came an epic trivia contest. (Imagine, if you will, 150 pretty nerdy people answering wicked nerdy questions.) After the 1st round of pre-scripted questions, the tables were turned and each team of 4 was asked to come up with questions of their own. Just as round 2 was beginning, 1/4 of our team went home and I had to leave the room to change a diaper. When I returned, I learned that Logan had submitted a question on our team's behalf. A geography-based question. I knew we were in trouble.

"What city is west of LA?"

A. Tijuana

B. Sacramento

C. Phoenix

D. Tahoe

He thought it was brilliant, given that we'd recently seen an awesome Google Chrome ad—and subsequently conducted a pretty funny Google search—that revealed the answer. Well, sort of. 

At first we were thrilled, NO ONE had guessed the right answer except our team, which meant we got bonus points. But when the "correct" answer (D. Tahoe) was revealed, the crowd revolted. Smart Phones whipped out faster than you can say Please do not bring your cell phones to this event. Engineers, Planners, Customer Services Representatives, HR Managers... all were up in arms. "It's SACRAMENTO!!" they yelled. What ensued was 10 minutes of arguing, Googling, and finally an on-screen digital presentation that proved that Sacramento was, in fact, west of LA. And while Tahoe is also west of LA, Sacramento is wester. Seriously, people? Wester? 

Wester.

The crowd argued that we didn't deserve any points for our deceitful question, but I—in defense of my husband and the honor of my son who seemed perplexed, but greatly amused by all the commotion—retorted, "We deserve 5 points, not 1, for causing this much fun!"

Logan will likely never live down the great 2012 debacle now infamously known as "The Sacramento incident", but I know that 25 years from now—or 26 if you're really counting—I'll be as proud of being part of the Vermont Energy Investment Corporation family as I am today.

A HARD LEFT

Much like the drivers in yesterday's rain-delayed Daytona 500, I've been running at full throttle in a single direction lately, with no end in sight. And the season's only beginning.

In the two weeks since my last post, I've missed some pretty special birthdays and anniversaries, rushed through bedtime stories, skipped lunches altogether, and generally willed every day away in hopes that the next one would be better, calmer, quieter, more fun.

Instead, each new day has brought with it another seemingly insurmountable pile of work and yet another life lesson to learn. The most recent being: As a boss, I'm not always going to be everyone's best friend. Quite the contrary, I might actually be their worst nightmare.

Isn't this how you're supposed to do it??

It used to be that a day at the office might be crazy, a client might piss us off or a co-worker might drive us crazy, but when it was all said and done we'd sit around together and gossip about it. These days, I'm lucky if I have a moment to say hi to the good friend that sits right next to me or to the other that couldn't sit farther. And, I'm even luckier if the sitting around and gossiping isn't about me.

I've been told I've gotten too serious (really?) and that I need to loosen up* (REALLY??) If only the bosses I had in my 20s could see me now! Of course, they can't see me. No one can. I'm always in meetings.

With performance reviews well under way, continuous improvement is really top of mind. I want to make sure that I'm actually helping others achieve their greatest potential and do their best work. Even more so, I want to make sure I'm doing the same myself—both in the office and out.

As I sit here tonight on what would technically be the last day of yet another crazy month, I give thanks in advance to the Gregorian gods for their little gift of an extra day tomorrow and continue to hope for the best.

*Seriously, Tim, that's just how I sneeze! There's nothing wrong with it.

LITTLE MISS BLISS

During my 7 month stint in DC, I worked—mostly peripherally—with a woman named Kelley. She would walk into our offices for meetings about once a week, in her perfectly pressed outfits and her perfectly straight bright red hair, and intimidate the hell out of me. It didn't help that she worked in a finance capacity, bringing in millions of dollars in grants with the swift and efficient stroke of her pen. (Yes, I know she probably types her funding proposals on a laptop, but whatever. That doesn't sound as good.)

After a couple of months, not talking at all shifted to bantering over who got to eat the only chocolate croissant on the pastry tray at the meeting. Out of nowhere, it seemed, the caterer stopped including them and we found ourselves back at square one. Except somehow, I can't remember when or why, we started emailing each other.

Turns out, we have a ton in common, she's pretty hilarious, and she's a BAKER. (Why she couldn't bake her own chocolate croissants instead of eating all of mine, is beyond me.) Unfortunately, I left DC before we were able to solidify our relationship with some good old fashioned hanging out.

Then, yesterday, we once again found ourselves together in a meeting in DC. Immediately afterward, she asked if I had a minute to talk. Thinking she wanted to vent about work, I whisked her down to the building's cafeteria. Imagine my surprise when prim and proper Kelley let loose a barrage of profanity sprinkled with words like FLOWERS and MAKE UP and INVITE LIST and HAIR...

Wait a second, I thought. She wants to talk to me about her wedding plans? OMG, we're actually friends!

As she went on, I continued to think about how life never really ceases to amaze me. And that felt pretty good. Almost as good as my new friend trusting me with her secrets and frustrations about a day that can quickly spiral from wedded wonder into something bigger and badder than you could every imagine. Not Michael Jackson Bad, bad bad. 

We chatted for much less time than I would have wanted and certainly less than the topic warranted, but by the end of it I knew it wouldn't be the last time we spoke. And it wouldn't matter if we were in the same place. Hopefully, in some small way, I'll be able to make a difference in her big day (or at the very least help her get to and through it.) And hopefully, we'll be able to share much more than chocolate croissants in the future.

It's looking like 2012 might just turn out to be the year of friendships. And that sounds pretty good to me.

ARE WE THERE YET?

My son Hudson can spot an airplane from miles away. In the mornings, on our drive to school, we'll hear him making the sound... Eeeeeeeeeiiiiiiioon! I'll turn around and he'll be pointing at a tiny spec in the sky. Sure enough, there it'll be. It's not surprising that he's so obsessed with planes, really. His grandfather was a pilot, his mom grew up going to air shows, and in his own short life he's been on well over 50 of them.

I was thinking today of how much I miss traveling, which is ironic given the fact that not only have we been away more than we've been home over the past couple of years, but I was actually in the process of buying plane tickets when the thought struck. I just don't think it really counts when 99% of the trips have been work related, including this latest one.

Yep. Today I booked my first trip back to DC for business. It's just a couple of days, but they're monumental as they represent my first nights ever away from Hudson. I wish it was for something better.

I won't lie: the idea of two, consecutive, uninterrupted nights of sleep is so exciting. But at the same time, this whole thing is a little sad. I feel guilty about having time to myself when it means Logan will have even less of it himself. I'm nervous that Hudson will be upset that I left him and not like me anymore when I get home. I'm worried about winter travel and the flight delays that might keep me from getting back on time. And what if when it finally comes time to enjoy my freedom, I won't actually be able to sleep??

I wish there was a way to take my boys with me. Maybe, when I go, they'll spot my little spec in the sky and say hi.

SIDEBAR: To make up for my guilt about traveling alone, I think tomorrow I'll add 4 more to Hudson's total tally and book the flights for our first-ever Brown family beach week. Pawleys Island, here we come! Too bad we have to wait until July to get there.

WHEN IT RAINS

They say that if you don't have something nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all. Well, if that's the case, I may as well pack up my blogger bags and call it a day. Alas, I've never been one to follow the rules.

This weekend sucked.

On Saturday morning, Hudson and I headed to our weekly gymnastics class. We go for him really, but this week he didn't want to be there. Of course he couldn't just tell me what he wanted to do (since he's still holding out on using his words*), he instead continued to perfect his patented, perfectly pitched whine. Needless to say, the experience was less than stellar.

Later in the day, I slipped and fell down the stairs at our house. I bruised my back and my wrist, and pulled every muscle in my neck. On Sunday, I sliced off the top of my finger trying to open the plastic packaging on one of Hudson's new toys. To top off the weekend, I wrote an entire blog post only to have the site crash. I lost everything.

Then it was Monday. Back to work. But this was no ordinary Monday. It was the day of our open house. What seemed like hundreds of strangers (no one actually counted) filled the office from 8 to 11 touring our new space and celebrating the company's 25th anniversary. Definitely a good cause, but... Oy. By three o'clock, it felt like Friday. Only there were still four days to go.

I had to do something to break the spell, so today, I snuck out for a few hours and met a friend for lunch. (Sidebar: I had not one, but two great lunch date options today!**) Our conversation went everywhere in just the right ways. From kids to careers, from disappointments to dreams, from books to, well, books, and from questioning the past to coming up with some fanciful ideas for the future.

She shared stories from her own life that made me feel normal. She enlightened me about friendships and the huge role proximity plays in their growth and survival. And she reminded me that for every bad day, there's was a warm, rainy day with lunch.

It was exactly what I needed.

This is the photo that went with the post I lost on Sunday.
Feel free to make of it what you will.

*USE YOUR WORDS!!

**See also: post title.

COOL BEANS

Eight months ago we packed our bags, our cats, and our baby, and moved to DC to help open a new corporate office and launch a new division for our company. We told ourselves that, in the end, the only way we'd know the move had been worth it was if we were as sad on the day we left DC as we were when we drove south out of Burlington. 

It was so very worth it.

Washington, DC

While we were away, the Vermont office went through a major reorganization, moved to an entirely different building, and hired about a million new employees. On top of that, I was named to a newly created position (a massively broad one) to return to. Today was my first day.

It took me a while to find my desk. I had to ask where to hang up my coat, where to find IT, where to get water and go to the bathroom. Every other person I saw was a complete stranger. It was odd. 

My new boss found me standing quietly in front of the coffee machine. No mug. She said I looked kind of comatose. I told her I don't even drink coffee. I'd been staring at the name of the machine: cool beans. We had a running joke in the DC office about the expression and the machine made me miss them. It made me think of how Shanika cried for three days before we moved back, insisting that our leaving was "just whack."

And then Anna brought me a cupcake and a card. Someone else (I'm still not sure who) left a couple of chocolates on my keyboard. I unpacked my box of stuff and started to settle in. I caught up with a couple of people I was really happy to see and made fun of some others with my new neighbor. Toward the end of the day, I had a meeting to discuss a creative advertising idea for corporate—a meeting in which I found myself ranking people's attractiveness on a scale of small-medium-large (it was totally relevant to the topic, honest.) I walked back to my desk, still laughing at the ridiculousness of our conversation, and looked out the window at the beautiful sunset over Lake Champlain. I realized that in midst of so much change, some things had stayed the same. And they are some of my very favorite things. 

It felt good to be back.

Burlington, VT

Today I felt like the new kid in school looking for someone to have lunch with me. Tomorrow, I try again.