Monday, January 30, 2012


My son Hudson can spot an airplane from miles away. In the mornings, on our drive to school, we'll hear him making the sound... Eeeeeeeeeiiiiiiioon! I'll turn around and he'll be pointing at a tiny spec in the sky. Sure enough, there it'll be. It's not surprising that he's so obsessed with planes, really. His grandfather was a pilot, his mom grew up going to air shows, and in his own short life he's been on well over 50 of them.

I was thinking today of how much I miss traveling, which is ironic given the fact that not only have we been away more than we've been home over the past couple of years, but I was actually in the process of buying plane tickets when the thought struck. I just don't think it really counts when 99% of the trips have been work related, including this latest one.

Yep. Today I booked my first trip back to DC for business. It's just a couple of days, but they're monumental as they represent my first nights ever away from Hudson. I wish it was for something better.

I won't lie: the idea of two, consecutive, uninterrupted nights of sleep is so exciting. But at the same time, this whole thing is a little sad. I feel guilty about having time to myself when it means Logan will have even less of it himself. I'm nervous that Hudson will be upset that I left him and not like me anymore when I get home. I'm worried about winter travel and the flight delays that might keep me from getting back on time. And what if when it finally comes time to enjoy my freedom, I won't actually be able to sleep??

I wish there was a way to take my boys with me. Maybe, when I go, they'll spot my little spec in the sky and say hi.

SIDEBAR: To make up for my guilt about traveling alone, I think tomorrow I'll add 4 more to Hudson's total tally and book the flights for our first-ever Brown family beach week. Pawleys Island, here we come! Too bad we have to wait until July to get there.


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